31 October, 2009

Consultants



Adapted from Julian Cairns-Wicks' column in the St Helena Independent a week ago:

Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Starkville Daily News Newspaper in Starkville, Mississippi, and bought a mule for$100.  The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.  The next morning the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night.”

Curtis & Leroy replied, “Well, then just give us our money back.”

The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”

They said, “OK then, just bring us the dead mule.”

The farmer asked, “What in the world ya’ll gonna do with a dead mule?”

Curtis said, “We’re gonna raffle him off.”

The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead mule!”

Leroy said, “We shore can!  Heck, we don’t hafta tell nobody he’s dead!”

A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis &Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked, “What’d you fellers ever do with that dead mule?”

They said, ”We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do.”  Leroy said, ”Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.”

The farmer said, ”My Lord, didn’t anyone complain?”

Curtis said, “Well, the feller who won got upset.  So we gave him his two dollars back.”

Curtis and Leroy now work as taxation consultants and will be coming to Anguilla this month to advise us on diversifying our revenue base.



8 comments:

  1. The really scary part of this story is that--in view of what "Wall Street" and other "schemers" have done to plunder the world economy--the "raffle" aspect makes perfect "sense." God, we are all willing to take so much crap.

    Keep it up, Don.

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  2. The Stabroek News of Guyana has published a perceptive article by David Jessup in which he explains why our government’s attitude to tourism has serious implications for our economic recovery. Until our government and its economic advisers understand the points being made here, there will be no recovery as a result of increased taxation.

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  3. As an oppressed minority -- to wit, a redneck -- I resent your shallow prejudice and poor choice of humor.

    ;-)

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  4. “The Home Office believes its Asset Recovery Incentivisation Scheme could be stepped up to earn £1 billion per year for government coffers.

    Defence lawyers say that draconian laws to seize the property of big drug dealers are being used to confiscate the family homes of businessmen charged with non-payment of VAT. One solicitor said: “I have clients whose businesses are being closed and family homes taken away because of complex irregularities in VAT. They’re not organised criminals.”


    COMMENT: Mr. Mitchell, I just came across this in an October issue of Times Online.

    It seems that Anguillian lawyer Ms.Davis-Richardson was right all along. She claimed that the law just passed in Anguilla is worst than the one in England and would have this kind of effect.

    It is reasonable to conclude that the real reason why it is "necessary" to broaden the tax base to other forms of taxation is so that property IN ANGUILLA can be taken away , for simple errors in filing of taxation ect...

    The British are suppose to be spreading democracy, not stealing it!

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  5. when the election changes the government, can the new government rescind any laws it does not want which were implemented by the previous government? and are obviously bad for Anguilla.
    I believe they can and certainly will as this present GOA has been a disaster for Anguillians except of course, Ministers and their compadres.

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  6. FARE DODGERS AND COUNCIL TAX EVADERS COULD HAVE THEIR HOMES SEARCHED AND CASH SEIZED BY COUNCIL OFFICIALS UNDER TOUGH “AL CAPONE” LAWS

    Home Secretary Alan Johnson will let town halls tackle small-time offenders with powers designed for police to use on crime bosses.
    Debts can be collected for low-level offences from next week in a radical extension of the Proceeds of Crime Act.

    Town Hall officials, the Royal Mail, the Rural Payments Agency and Transport for London will have the right to search homes, seize cash, freeze bank accounts and confiscate property.

    The move has infuriated cops. Paul McKeever, chair of the Police Federation, said: "The Proceeds of Crime Act is a very powerful tool in the hands of police and police-related agencies and it shouldn't be treated lightly.

    "There is a behind-the-scenes creeping of powers occurring here and I think the public will be very surprised. They would want such intrusive powers to be kept in the hands of warranted officers and other law enforcement bodies - which are vetted to a very high standard."

    Councils have come under attack for using anti-terror laws in the past to spy on householders who fail to recycle correctly - and there is a fear they will be targeted by the new powers.

    The Home Office plans to "embed" financial seizure across the criminal justice system.
    Ministers have set a target to recover £250million in criminal assets by 2010, rising to £1billion per year soon after.

    A Home Office spokesman said: "Seizing ill-gotten gains is a key part of the fight against criminals - whether it is small offences or organised crime."

    The Sun News
    29th October 2009

    COMMENT: THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Not soldiers with machine guns, nor bigots with bibles, but “tax consultants” with fascism and tax slavery!

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  7. It is really alarming and perplexing that our leaders are so inept that they have allowed such a law to be passed with out putting up any resistance to it.How can Anguillians sit by idly and not fight this.We must be aware that this is bad for all of us.When the Brits come seeking proof of our finance how will we respond?We have been independent and working for ourselves for so long without having to give account for where and how we got our monies that this law be a drastic shock into the realm of criminality for most of ua hard working people.We must protest this and resist this new law.Where are our right and freedoms going ,Down the drain?,yeah if the UK has its way.

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  8. BRITAIN OVERTAKES US AS TOP FINANCIAL CENTRE

    Britain was ranked first out of 55 financial centres. Australia came second and the US third.

    The ranking, compiled by the World Economic Forum (WEF), places the UK at the top of a leader board of 55 of the world’s largest financially-focussed countries.

    The US, which had previously held the top spot, slipped to third, behind second-placed Australia.

    The poll will fuel the ongoing debate as to whether London or New York is the best place to do business for financial communities, amid recent reports that a growing number of hedge funds are moving to New York due to lighter regulation. “

    “Lighter regulations”?
    So why are the British and Americans trying to regulate Cayman, Anguilla and the other Overseas Territories to death?

    And now the British want to introduce income and other direct tax into Anguilla.

    There is genius somewhere in there!

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